BEHAVIORS FOR EFFECTIVE LISTENING

My prior Blog addressed the importance of listening skills in creating and maintaining interpersonal connections. Without effective listening skills you will not be perceived by your associates as an effective leader. If you think that improving your listening skills is worth the effort it will take you to change, follow these suggestions:

• Take an honest critical assessment of your listening behaviors,
• Determine which behaviors you routinely follow and those you could improve,
• Select 2-3 behaviors that you believe could benefit your effectiveness and you are willing to commit to improving, and
• Develop a list of actions that will lead to you achieving your goals.

Remember the best of the best reach that level because they practice the most, are committed to their goals, measure their progress, reassess their situation and adjust their behavior to stay on course.

Must Have Beaviors for Effective Listening

1. Sole attention on speaker
1. no cell phone, computer, text message interruptions
2. clear mind, focus is on speaker, no extraneous thoughts or ideas
3. Listen to speaker – do not be preparing response until speaker has finished
2. Understand what the speaker is saying
1. What are the contextual features of the situation that the speaker is talking about
2. Listen for, or ask Who, What, How, Where, When
3. Clarify your understanding of what the speaker said. Use your own words to tell the speaker what you heard them say – called Paraphrasing. Try, "I heard you say…………"
3. Understand the emotions behind the message.
1. Look for non-verbal cues (eyes, mouth, forehead, hands, posture)
2. Listen for tone, rate and fluctuations in speech
4. Not dominating the conversation. I give others a chance to talk.
5. I add to the conversation. When a person speaks to me I acknowledge respond appropriately to what they said. I do not move on to another topic without finishing current one.
6. I remember important things people have told me.
7. I make appropriate eye contact when conversing.
8. My eye contact is not too intense. I do not stare at the person.
9. I let the other person finish talking and finish their thought. I do not try and guess what the person is going to say next.
10. I do not immediately dismiss other people's suggestions or what they have to say.
11. I do not continually interrupt the other person when they are talking.
12. I am not always argumentative
13. I do not display non-verbal cues that tell the other person that I'm interested in what they have to say.
14. I never act like it is a hardship to see someone. I do not constantly watch the clock while someone is talking.
15. I do not dismiss someone if someone else happens along that has higher status than that person. 

Self Improvement Commitments:
What behaviors would your associates say you routinely exhibit that indicates you are listening effectively?

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What behaviors would your associates say you routinely exhibit that get in your way of listening effectively?

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My Listening Goals:

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Listening Behaviors/Problems I Want to Solve:

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Actions I Will Take, Behaviors I Will Exhibit to Reach My Goals and Solve My Behaviors/Problems

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